Beech Tree News Network

Malapropisims are those words and phrases that occasionally misfire and tickle our funny bones.
-For starters, catholic converter is good. That the air pollution device under your car.
-Asked what her son did in the Army a lady said he drove “Simoniz” trucks.
-Malaprops know no boundaries. New English veterinary surgeon, MRCVS James Herriot described his first case symptoms over phone given him by a farmer, not a word of which understood: “M-Cow has the masties… she’s no-but goin’ on three cylinders. She wants borin’out. Tha-knows if tha’s not done soon, she’s liable to go wrang in her ever” Loosely translated: The cow had mastitis in one quarter of her udder. A Wilson’s instrument needed to be inserted into the infected teat to clean out the infection.
There are wondrous misfire in the field of medicine.
-One woman had MIGRATING HEADACHES
-Another wanted REBELLION shots for her child
-One old guy thought he had a bad PROSPECT GLAND
-An older lady was sure she was “goin’ thru MENTAL pause.
-Another lady said her husband quit breathing, and they had to give him ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION
-A man wanted his wife fitted with an IOU
-A woman “just got through having a HISTRECTUM”
-One fellow allowed SOYBEAN Jr was the best thing for sore muscles.
-One patient complained of pains in the PALMS OF HER FEET
-  One old guy had to have a COLOSTROPHY
Keep Well.
Kindest Regards…